(…while a beautiful song Oh My Papa by Eddie Fisher is being played…)
He taught me math for math became the basic subject to get my engineering degree
He taught me playing guitar for then playing guitar became the first thing which my husband felt in love with me
He prepared so many things for my future
He taught me to fight like a boy when I was a little girl, taught me never be a chicken
He taught me to set a level for my every dream, and made me believe that it’s fine to set a high standard no matter if it looked impossible
He played jazz and blues in our home for then those kind of music inspired me a lot and I’m so in to it
He recommended reading the biography of Ferdinand Marcos to me when I was 11, for then I love to read Biography book
He loves coffee so much, then I love coffee so much because he’s always a role model to me
He’s my first love in my life
He and his wife are the eternal believers that I’m so special to reach my every dream
He’ll always be an idol and a role model in my life
He’s my father.
Happy 56th birthday, Pa…
To me you’re so wonderful…
deep in my heart I miss so today…
I wrote the poem above for my father this morning on his birthday.
My father has strong character. He is so tough and stubborn. I can understand this because since he was a kid, his life was not so easy. He had to struggle for his life. As the first son in a family whose 9 children, he sacrificed so much. He didn’t attend even the senior high school. But the other children of my grandparents attended school until university and almost them have good career as employee now. As the first son, he was trained well to be a leader and used to manage so many things in their home. My grandparents used to had a food stall in 1960’s – 1970’s. My father was the dishwasher, the cleaner, and sometimes as the cook. Even he did double work to take care of his little sister by carried her in his back while cooking. I ever wondered, if my father’s childhood was visualized in a movie, it would be a very sad movie. He always loves his family especially his brothers and sisters. That’s why my uncles and my aunts respect and love him so much.
My parent’s love story was not easy as well. My mother was an educated and career woman, and came from a rich family. Her late father was a wealthy landowner. So many men pursued her. My father tried all he could to get my mother’s attention. He got a little help from his brothers and sisters to write love letters. Sometimes my grandfather also gave a little help to add inspiring and romantic words. I couldn’t believe this. I always laughed loudly and said to my father that he was lying. Then he smiled and said, “You got no idea how much I really wanted to marry this beautiful lady” while grasping my mother’s hand. At the beginning my mother’s parents didn’t agree for their marriage because my father had nothing at that time. My grandmother (father’s mom) sold almost all of her jewelries to give a very high dowry (bride price). Then my grandparent (mother’s parent) agreed. Later in their old age, my grandparent (mother’s parent) loved my father a lot because my father had pure heart and worked so hard for his family. Even my father was the only son-in-law who really cared for them. (My grand parent had 7 sons-in-law, by the way).
My father had a dream to be an engineer. This never be true. He kept that dream and hoped someday his son would be engineer. My father is a very smart and dynamic person. His logical thinking brought him to several abilities which commonly formal educated person had, such as assembly a radio, assembly a computer set, install the electricity in our house, design our home building and calculate the material needed, and so many other things. When I was a kid, I was amazed to see how he made a radio. I thought he made because at that time I thought he also made all of the materials also, then I knew he only assembled the radio. But still I thought it was cool. 😉 He was an idol to me till now.
My father prepared his children for good education. I and my elder sister were so lucky that our father still had time to teach us math at home. Later my younger brothers and younger sister weren’t so lucky to get math course from our father due to my father’s business was being expanded. When I was in elementary school, I hated him several times because he sometimes gave me some math exercises which belonged to fifth grade student. I was third grade at that time! But I passed the exercises anyway. And passed the next so many math exercises too. Sometimes he also held a little competition between me and my cousin (which stayed at our home because in her village there was no junior high school at that time). I always won the competition. My father smiled widely and said that I would be a doctor. Yes…I really wanted to be a doctor since I was a kid till that dream thrown away due to our family economic situation.
My father read a lot of good books. He mostly read biography and technology. I remember when I was 11, He told me about Ferdinand Marcos, the former president of Philipines who was famous by his dictatorship. That book was not commonly recommended for children actually. My father tried to inculcate the habit of reading books other than just textbooks. I read a lot of biography books then. Biography book was my top list of my favorite books and recently it’s still, no matter how I love chiclit when I’ve turned 20’s. Recently I prefer watching THS on E! channel than reading biography book due to my long working hours. *excuse 😛
When I was a teenager, my father taught me playing guitar. I asked him to. I was in a ridiculous puppy love to a cute boy in my third grade of junior high school. He even bought my first classic guitar, Yamaha FG-200. For a family like ours, it was expensive enough. So I learned to play guitar seriously and ,trust me, several boys felt in love with me (puppies love, of course). But the boy I used to love never saw me. 😦 That boy was my first puppy love and the boy who caused my first broken-heart after I knew that he dated my cousin who came from the other city for a holiday then. a little drama, huh? 😉 That cute boy had turned to be a handsome guy who now is a singer (started being famous in youtube and talent show then) in Indonesia and being in relationship with a famous singer too. 😦 I supposed to learn singing instead of playing guitar, right? 😛
I entered a senior high school run by Catholic foundation in the other city. My father didn’t agree if I entered that school. My family couldn’t afford it. It was a popular school in that city so the fee was so expensive for our family capability. Actually I achieved the highest rank in my junior high school so I could enter the popular state senior high school at the time. But I just wanted to attend that Catholic school. My father never knew what made me so stubborn to attend that school. But then he let me attended it. It meant that he and my mother would struggle much more than they already did to get much more money. They never knew my only reason: I really wanted to be a personil of a rock band in that school. I never told this to them. They would never agree, especially my father. More over he never got a chance to attend senior high school. But later I didn’t disappoint my parents because I could pass the national test to enter the state university. I left to Solo, Center Java to attend university. I didn’t go for medical study, but engineering. My parents couldn’t afford the medical study fee so I decided to take another majors after got some advices from my uncle who is an industrial engineer. Deep in my father’s heart, he was so sad because I would never be a doctor. But this must be fate for then we realized that his dream came true! His daughter (not his son btw) became an industrial engineer 5 years later and made him proud. One year later my elder sister got her chemical engineering bachelor. My father was proud and more thankful. He’s got double result.
On the night my father’s birthday, I ordered a birthday blackforest cake and sent to him as a surprise. He loves chocolate a lot but he can’t eat a lot again due to his diabetic for years. I sent also to my nephew, Diego, who also stayed in my parent’s house. He cried last year on my father’s birthday because he was not allowed to blow the candles. So this year Diego has his own cake and candles to be blown. 🙂 My husband and I wanted to make conference call with my father. Unfortunately the signal in my husband’s remote site was bad. So he just texted my father and congratulated him. I made a long call. I’d never made a long call for almost two hours with my father before. He was a little sad because there was only my youngest brother with him in our house. My mom was out of the town for a family party invitation (Batak family party would take a whole day), my elder sister was still in Bogor to visit her fiance for a month, my brother was in Jakarta and couldn’t come (of course), my younger sister was trapped in house with her husband and Diego because it rained, I was still in remote site, my husband also was n remote site. My father is a sentimental person in his old age. He is more expressive than before. He would cry in happiness and also if something not run well. My father was not a good listener before. But at that night we talked a lot and I mostly talked about my husband and our little home. My father talked about his hopes after I stopped grumble. 🙂 I cried a little when he told me that all his hopes were just for his children goodness and success. I asked him if he wanted a gift from me. Then he said he wanted to have ipod since a long time ago and he already told me several times. Oh my…how insensitive I was. “I’ll buy then for you, Pa…”, i whispered.
Anything he wants from me, I’ll try my best to keep him happy. Deep in my heart now, I miss him so much… Happy 56th birthday, Pa… I love you. 🙂