My dear Philip,
Christmas is always my favourite season. I remember every year on the beginning of December, I’d always been the first kid in my family who assembled the Christmas tree enthusiastically. Sleeping nearby the Christmas tree was always the best part of having a bright and sparkling tree in the house. As a kid, I didn’t mind to do such some cliché things like waiting for new dress, some cakes in the house, cookies in some jars, carols along the season, and watching Christmas movies with my siblings. We have tradition, a family gathering with my grandparents, parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles. My grandparent from my mother’s side had 10 children and my grandparent from my father’s side had 9 children. So you can imagine how big my family was. 😉 Laughter, some baking cakes, beers, whiskeys, tuak, grilled chicken, chicken curry, and carols along the night. You can imagine how crowded our grandparents house on the festive season was. It was always fun. Christmas season was always a great thing for me.
Years later my grandparents were not with us any longer. We still had festive season in my parent house: parents, siblings, the-in-laws, grandchild. Tradition we kept for years is still held till now. We usually mudik for Christmas eve at home and the celebration of the festive season in our hometown. Christmas was always the happiest moment along the year to me. And for years, I always prepared Christmas presents for my family, and for you, of course. It was always fun. Still a great thing for me.
This year, our second Christmas as a family, we can’t be around our families. Can’t be at home. We’re separated by two islands. I wish I could stay in our own home, have a sparkling Christmas tree, decorate our home with some cliché ornaments. 🙂 I wish I could cook your favourite foods along this season. I wish I could go to church with you and commented the music players there. I wish I could have Christmas eve with you (last night I had it with some colleagues btw). I wish I could wake up in the morning and enjoyed the sunshine on your face, you kissed me a lot and said: Merry Christmas, sweetheart. Like you did last year. I wish we could mudik to your parent’s home town, or to my home town Parapat, our favourite town. I wish I could drink several bottles of beer and flavoured vodka with you. I wish I could watch Christmas movie with you and held your hand along the movie was played, like we did last year. It was fun. See? Last year, Christmas was still a great thing for me.
What can we do now, sweetheart? I feel so blue on this Christmas. Christmas is not a great thing any longer to me. Not just because I can’t be around our families currently. But the most, I can’t be around you. Talking on the phone would never be enough. Received some pictures from you just made me more and more desperately miss you. Hmm..ok. I’m a drama queen. We’re going to be in our home for Christmas next year, I promise. There would be no distance. I’ll do anything to make it happens. It always feels hurting to be so far from you. It’s getting harder each day honestly. Sometimes I become desperate and just wanna quit these all. But then I remember our plans and objectives to reach our dreams. No pain no gain. You always say that. Yeah…I believe it. But can I be selfish? ;p
Ahh…I wish I could forget about our situation even for a while . All I want for this Christmas is just to be with you, my dear Philip. I can’t be at home with you now. But next year, I’ll be home for Christmas with you.
South Tapanuli, Dec 25, 2014