I’ve had a long distance relationship with Philip for more than 6 years. It’s not an easy and not-recommended relationship anyway. If I could choose, I’d never be in this situation. But what could I do? Sometimes things you’ve been planned for your all of your life would not exactly happened just like you wanted or ever imagined. Six years ago we started with a friendship then turned out to be a love relationship. At that time we still attended university and prepared our thesis. We attended the same major but not in the same university. Graduated from university didn’t promise a closer relationship then. I was offered a job in Semarang, in a furniture manufacturer which I loved so much (the products, not the company). Philip was still in Medan, still struggled with his thesis. It took 15 months to finally meet in the same city then, Jakarta. We finally stayed closer to each other. Philip was in Jakarta, and I was in Lippo Cikarang.
Things I’d planned for my future began to look possible. We could meet and dated every weekend. The most things I could remember was our first date after 15 months separated by two islands. It was a very lovely romantic passionately date. We planned and arranged so many things for our next plans: marriage, got a home, had children, built a business, and so on. Then the sickness came out again: LDR. Philip had a job-training in Samarinda and had to stay there for 2-3 months. We returned to date on air again. Two months later, he came back and moved to Solo for 2 months, Central Java. And 2 months later, he moved to a remote site in Sangatta, East Kalimantan. Again and again, we did the LDR.
Two years later, our marriage made me over-think about the LDR. Should we do that again? It’d been such a pain to live separated by two islands and could only meet every 2 months for 2 weeks (sometimes only one week). I tried to find a job in Kalimantan and Medan (because Philip wanted me to stay in Kalimantan or Medan and he also tried to find a job in Medan too), but the company could offer me the good job with the best salary was only a gold mine which located in South Tapanuli, North Sumatera. And Philip still couldn’t find the
other better job he wanted. So here we went again, LDR and stayed in a remote site. We decided to stay like this until we could afford a business we always wanted to build. Two or three years might be not bad for a little family like ours. The good side of being working in remote site is I only work for 28 days and have vacation for 14 days then. I can meet Philip every month. Well, that was the plan. I can only meet him every 10 weeks for 2 weeks (sometimes 3 weeks) then. For people out there, this is sad. Actually it is. But what can we do? Nothing is so easy in life, and so in a relationship is.
I sometimes complain about this situation. More over in our communication. Being in a remote site (in a jungle) makes us have to struggle to find good signal to even make a phone call. Inconvenience situation filled our days if one of us couldn’t be reached due to bad weather or low phone battery. Our marriage runs 15 months now and it becomes more complicated than we can ever imagine. We plan to have kid. This is not easy due to our working schedule. Well, ovulation can’t wait until I meet my husband. And even when we’re together, ovulation is not the only thing matters. Our plan to have kids on year 2 of our marriage can’t happen just well as we’ve planned. But I believe that everything happens for a reason. Maybe the time is just not right. I still want to improve my professional experiences and want to have a stable and settle financial before I have kids. So does my husband. So we decide to postpone having kids again. I pray with all my heart for God not mad at me and not punish us when we want kids. We think this is the better situation to lower the pressure while distance does us an-on-air marriage. ;p
People say, if we really want something, the universe conspires to make it happens. For me, God works all the time to prepare the better life and we only have to fight and be deserved to accept it. I and my husband want to go and run further from our situation now. Not by leaving the inconvenience situation, but by preparing our field and work very hard. It sometimes rains meant to fertilize our field. Also storm would strike making us stronger than before. As long as we have a hope, surely the future brings us better. So how far can we go? It’s only about how deep the faith we have. Financial planning, Business Proposal, Business Experience, and Network would only be just some papers if we only rely on our strength. My husband always reminds us to act and reflect: have faith, work, improve, and grow up. It’s not always easy to do. There’s time to rise and fall but have to rise again. At the end of the journey, how far we can go will be shown up by things we act and reflect today. C’est la vie. 😉